I feel it's the latter.

quotes a conversation:

"you have so many double standards
its ridiculous"

"you dont always communicate when youre upset"

"you are kind of emotionally abusive to me"

"you make me seem like the worst person ever [all the fucking time]"

"i feel guilty constantly"

"think about how much a apologize to you and why is that,
cuz you make me feel like im doing something wrong all the time
every time i see you"

"either im not coming out to see you enough, or my schedule isnt flexible, or i make you feel bad because i get jealous about your roommates or dont want to hang with them"

"i feel like i dont understand whats going on in your brain at all"






I feel bad. Very bad. Not for myself obviously. I'm a shit person and my boyfriend has just verified it. I'm embarrassed for him that I call him my boyfriend.

I told him I wondered if I should break it off but thought it was dumb aka unreasonable... he asked why I thought of it.

I simply said, "I'm shit and immature and 21" (he's 30). He didn't understand and asked me to explain. He explained it himself later with everything he said above. Funny.

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So annoyed. With shady ass men.

It's not like I dress slutty. Though people should be able to dress however they want and not have to deal with harassment... none of that Bull Shit "asking for it" crap. Feminism blabber.

This guy kept following me around as I was waiting for my train back to home after I visited my bf. He asked for directions and just started talking about his life story. IDGAF SIR. I ignored him and told him I had a boyfriend and he said he didn't care. Then I lied and said I was engaged and he said that as long as I wasn't married he'd still try to get with me. G R O S S.

He said GOD will let you find the right person and that I don't know if I will be with my boyfriend forever or not. That a guy can come along and be the right guy for me and I'll end up breaking up with my boyfriend. Thanks to God.


Then he proceeded to say that he felt I was his soulmate. EXCUSE ME?
He tired multiple times to hug and touch me. It was disgusting.

I went on the train and he followed. I sat there pissed off and kept moving back and forth trying to find someone to help me. I just gave up and let his smelly ass sit with me as I texted my bf about it and got scared he'd rape me.

He kept talking about sex and asking if I liked girls. He said gay men were nasty but lesbians were good. What a fucking piece of shit. Homophobic asshole.

Worst train ride ever.

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Me: i gotta write a 10 page paper today, ill prob just do 7

Justin: lol yaaaay and get B

Me: lol yep and a "okay" written on the bottom

Justin: woooooo underachieving ftw

Me: i like this class. but after these people did a bs final project instead of the 10 page paper i was like fuck this class.

they just got a bunch of clips of palestinian kids hurt and sad and bleedings
and then at the end had a TA talk about how... yeah its a shitty place to live in and because I am a teacher aid my word is important and can count as research for your project.

The proff was like GREAT project let me have a copy! I walked out of class... I didn't have to stay anyways. ive been thinking really hard about different topics on palestinian film to write about without including political issues... It's difficult.... and this group just did a cop out dead kids compilation video and get an A for it. our class isn't a political film class either.. the proff made it clear that it was mostly about film and that she didn't want to focus on politics.

Justin: duuuuuuuuumb

Me: if I knew it was like that I would've made video art of myself bleeding and pooping and then dressed as a soldier and saying something like...... Death is my life.... and include a video art professor's commentary at the end how I portrayed the difficulties of lives in Palestine with artistic expression. FIN.

Justin: lolololol


Me: I'm just going to write about Palestinian films portrayals of women and how they resist the Hollywood stereotypes of being belly dancers, suicide bombers and bla di bla boring typical topic.

I'm tired I'm going to sleep now.

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Halloween: Mac Tonight from McDonalds and Jerri Blank from Strangers with Candy.

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I'm very annoyed at my friends Donna and Morgan. More so Donna.

Donna and Mo have been having problems since they've moved in together. We all live together now.

Mo likes to awkwardly follow people around and ask a lot of questions, is a very judgmental person, and also very insecure, thinks almost all guys want her dick, butts into conversations, has an Electra complex and is an overly curious person. Donna likes to talk your ear off, stick her hands into your food thinking you won't notice and drink straight out of a soda bottle when she is sick and everyone in the house shares it (I've caught her), told everyone my boyfriend was her friend before they even met... and also tells her friends what his job is, he works for a kids show ...etc


They are both equally annoying. The end.

BACK TO THE BITCH FIGHT STORY.

I'M sick so I've been napping a lot. I took a nap after class.
I woke up from Donna screaming and yelling, "I HATE YOU. You're A BITCH!"
and Mo yelling back, "You're A BITCH"

I'm in bed, half awake....I basically woke up to a nightmare.
I closed my eyes and tried to ignore it all. I couldn't though because I hear Donna saying nonsense like, "Everyone in the house hates you, they have issues with you but they're too scared to say anything like me"

NO. BIATCH PLS.
I get out of bed. Walk to the stairs and say, "Donna. You need to stop yelling at Mo and being an immature brat. Both of you need to stop being immature. Also don't speak for others like that, we don't hate Mo. It's rude and bullshit. "

Girl doesn't even turn her head to look at me. She just sits there and says, "I know I know" with her head facing Mo still and she just keeps talking to Mo and Mo looks at me embarrassed and hurt. I go back to my room and try to sleep more. I hear MORE screaming.

Of course it's Donna. She screams, "I HATE YOUU!" I HATE YOU" over and over again as Mo says calmly, "Ok, I'm done. Ok." Making Mo look like the rational person.

I've lost a lot of respect for Donna. I honestly would side with Mo if I didn't know anything. I'm not siding with anyone though.

here's the issue in 2 sentences:
Morgan likes to say rude things to Donna and only to Donna for some reason. Donna needs to tell her to step off but she holds it in and does this crap.

Donna Facebook messaged me telling me that she was sorry etc.
That she knows I am a "very private person, especially in regards to emotions, and the act of speaking for others and their emotions is intensified in my case."

I told her:

I don't understand how you think telling Mo that -everyone- in the house is too 'scared' to tell her that they hate her is okay or "intensified" for me because I'm a "private" person. it's just dumb period and any normal person would think so. Also no one in the house hates Mo, can't stand her sometimes sure, but not hate. Hate is a very strong feeling. You and Mo are the only ones who have real issues with each other. You needs to stop bringing us into your dumb bitch fight. You made it awkward for me because I sided with you and decided not to be friendly with Mo and it didn't help at all. Now that I am okay with Mo I don't need your bullshit "everyone hates you Mo" crap.

I also addressed that it wasn't the first time she's spoken for other people/me like her telling her friends my boyfriend works for ________ and telling Ade that my boyfriend remembers her from a dating site and that I am uncomfortable with the fact that she contacted him in the past because she's very flirty and loose with dudes. It's just weird and rude to do that. I understand that she doesn't do it to be rude, etc but it's embarrassing and plain weird.


She kept saying "I know I know" and I wanted to tell her obviously she didn't know if she did all that bullshit. She just didn't want to get lectured. I get it. But if she wants to act like a child then she'll get lecture.
In the end she just kept saying that she hated herself and that she was a fuck up and kept asking "do you think im fucking happy with myself right now?
do you think i'm fucking proud of myself? I fucking hate myself"

I told her it doesn't help to be self deprecating. You're not going to improve yourself by just saying I suck I suck the end. I do it a lot and I'm trying to improve on it because it's dumb and childish and you just want someone to tell you that you don't. So she said of course, "I know, I feel this way. I'm not doing it for you."

and I said "I don't need to baby you and make you feel better because this isn't a big issue. You apologize and get over it and improve yourself."

She replied with, "I don't want you to baby me"

So I replied with, "Ok, then we are done 'talking' "



Was I too harsh? I feel harsh but... I'm just so over her bull shit with Mo and acting like a victim when she's screaming I hate you, you're a bitch and everyone in the house thinks so but is too scared to say anything.

I told my roomie Andrew what happened and he said that it was nice of me to do that, to tell Donna to stop shit talking because we don't hate Mo. So over this shit. I have better things to worry about.

I never thought living with 'friends' was a good idea. I just need more compatible, chill friends who are emotionally stable.

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It's funny when friends/people are like o lemme see a pic of you two (my bf)
and I'm like, I don't have one.

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